A Quieter Week Than Expected

This last week hasn’t been dramatic.

No big moments. No fireworks. No sudden revelations.

Just space.

That in itself has felt strange.

Christmas came and went without much noise. No rushing about. No performing. No forcing myself into places or conversations that didn’t really fit. A few walks. A few gym sessions. Some cooking. A lot of sitting with my own thoughts - not in a heavy way, just noticing what’s there.

One thing that’s become very clear is how much of life is performance. Not in a malicious way - just people doing what they think they’re supposed to do. Keeping busy. Staying visible. Posting things. Saying the right words. Filling the silence so they don’t have to feel it.

Once you see that, you can’t unsee it.

Conversations sound different.

Silence feels less threatening.

And the need to explain yourself starts to fade.

I’ve noticed this week how little appetite I have for distraction. Even things that used to give quick relief - scrolling, apps, surface-level chats - just don’t pull in the same way. They’re still there, but the urgency has gone. The compulsion has softened.

That’s left a gap.

And the gap can feel uncomfortable if you’re used to filling every spare moment with something. But I’m starting to realise the gap isn’t a problem. It’s a pause. A reset. A nervous system finally stepping out of survival mode.

There’s also been a quiet sense of completion.

Work, money, plans - none of them feel like immediate threats anymore. For the first time in a long time, nothing is about to fall apart. I’m not used to that. Living without constant pressure feels unfamiliar, almost suspicious. But I’m learning to trust it.

I don’t have everything figured out. Far from it.

But I do know this:

It’s okay to leave people behind.

It’s okay to stop chasing noise.

It’s okay not to know what the next chapter looks like yet.

Some weeks aren’t about progress or breakthroughs.

They’re about integration.

Letting the dust settle.

Letting the body catch up.

Letting life breathe again.

And maybe that’s enough for now.